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08.11.2013 at 12:00 am
Cuttings

Currently reading a text on direct examination methods.

The provided example, based on Red Riding Hood's recollection of her trip to her grandmother's house and her subsequent encounter with the Big Bad Wolf, is hilarious:

Q: Directing your attention to October 12, the kitchen of your home at about 10:00 am, please tell the jury what happened.

A: My mother gave me a basket of goodies and asked me to take them to my grandmother’s house in the woods. I put on my red riding cape with the hood, and set out for grandma’s house.

Q: What happened next?

A: I walked through the woods, taking a shortcut. Along the way I met Mr. Wolf. He asked me some questions about what was in the basket, and I showed him. He looked very hungry.

Q: What happened next?

A: Mr. Wolf went on his way. I walked another fifteen minutes, and then got to grandma’s house. I knocked and a voice said to “Come in.”

Q: What did the voice sound like?

A: Very scratchy. It didn’t sound like grandma at all, but I figured maybe she had a bad cold.

Q: What happened next?

A: I entered the house. It was very dark. I tried turning on a light switch, but the lights didn’t work. I went over to grandma’s bed. She looked real bad — she had big eyes, big dog-like ears, and lots of sharp teeth. Or at least that’s the way it looked in the dark.

Q: Did you question her about this?

A: Yes. I said, “What big eyes you have.” She answered, “The better to see you with, my dear.” Then I said, “What big ears you have.” She answered, “The better to hear you with, my dear.” I was getting nervous, because she didn’t sound at all like herself. Then I said, “What big teeth you have. New dentures?”

Q: What happened then?

A: The person in the bed jumped up and grabbed me. It was Mr. Wolf wearing grandma’s nightgown. He sneered and said, “The better to eat you with, my dear.” I screamed for help.


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